Wednesday Q&A: Does Alcohol Cause Abuse?
QUESTION:
Many of the stories I’ve heard and read about (as well as the personal experiences of women I know) involve men who batter after drinking excessively. If alcohol abuse leads to partner abuse, it would make sense to focus on curbing alcoholism if we care about the lives and safety of women (not to mention their children). Is this off base? Does alcoholism cause domestic violence?
ANSWER:
The simple answer is “no.” Alcoholism does not cause abuse. Many people who abuse alcohol never abuse their partners. Likewise, many batterers have never had a drinking problem. In short, alcohol does not inspire violence from otherwise non-violent people.
That alcohol abuse leads to domestic violence is a common misconception, since they sometimes occur simultaneously. For example, the use of alcohol (and other drugs) can trigger an abusive episode from someone who is already prone to abusive behavior. In one study, abusive men who also suffered from alcoholism were 11 times more likely to assault their partners on days when the abusers had been drinking.
Alcohol also can increase the severity of a violent episode and, according to some studies, increase the likelihood that a victim will be killed. Domestic violence advocates often work with survivors to devise strategies for avoiding arguments or other conflicts when their abusers have been drinking, because the risk of escalated violence can be so much greater.
While alcohol abuse and domestic violence sometimes occur together, one does not cause the other. Unfortunately, many abusers rely on the popular belief that alcohol is the cause of their behavior. A common excuse many abusers use is that “the alcohol made me do it.” This is simply one more way abusers use to avoid taking responsibility for their actions.
Victims, too, can hold the belief that alcohol is somehow responsible (which can be a comforting thought, because no one wants to think their loved ones are capable of violence on their own). Many survivors tell us they hoped the abuse would stop once their abusers completed substance abuse treatment — but it almost never does. Batterers use this hope to their advantage; abusers who go through treatment and become sober often use this as a tool to exert further control over their partners, saying things like, “You can’t leave me – if you did, I would have to start using again, and it would be your fault.”
Effective treatment for alcoholic abusers focuses on both the alcoholism AND the partner abuse, as independent (if overlapping) problems. Addressing only the alcoholism will not end the abuse.
You can find more information about alcohol abuse and domestic violence here and here.
Thank you for asking this question — this is a common misunderstanding about what causes domestic violence, and I’m glad for the opportunity to address it!
Please exercise the same safe, supportive, non-judgmental restraint in the comment section of the Q&A as you do for survivors, as many of them are reading.
Our volunteer expert, Carrie K., is a trained advocate who has worked with survivors of domestic abuse and sexual assault, as well as their families and friends. Her background includes hotline advocacy, community education, and awareness and prevention programming around issues of domestic violence and sexual assault. She currently works for a domestic violence intervention and prevention program in Wisconsin. She blogs at rageisgood.blogspot.com
If you have something you have always wanted to know about domestic violence and/or sexual assault, please email your question to carrie [at] violenceunsilenced [dot] com.
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Comments
Alcohol is a disinhibitor. It turns off the behavioral "filters" that can keep an abusive episode -- or at least the severity of it -- in check in an abuser who is sober. But there isn't a cause-and-effect relationship between the two problems. There's nothing magical about alcohol that turns Dr. Jekyll into Mr. Hyde. Hyde is always there, under the surface. And a sober Jekyll might keep him suppressed indefinitely -- a sober and aware Jekyll that is.
If an abuser is aware that his or her substance abuse is likely to lead to or exacerbate a violent episode and continues to use anyway, I'd have to think he or she has so little regard for his or her partner to begin with that treatment for the chemical dependency is going to help. And while treating the chemical dependency alone isn't going to prevent further abuse, it can make dealing with the underlying pathology of the abusive tendencies easier to work on. If nothing else, it removes a layer of complexity so that there's only one problem to deal with.
But both problems are ones that the abuser will have to address. A victim of abuse is not responsible for the abuse. He or she is also not responsible for the abuser's sobriety. It might be possible to resolve both issues, but I would still recommend to anyone in an abusive relationship to get out. And stay out. The relationship is toxic and while you might have a chance of repairing it later -- much later -- once the abusive partner has done the work of (a) getting sober and (b) addressing the underlying causes of the abuse, until that happens you are at risk.
Another excellent question and another excellent answer. Thank you, both of you.
My ex always used it as his excuse as to why he beat me or my kids, or why he didn't remember beating me or my kids.
I have never thought of it as causal, but rather that it sometimes occurs along side domestic violence and then it really (REALLY) is like throwing gas on a flame.
While it may not be the cause, alcohol can definitely fuel violent outbursts. It's like throwing gasoline onto an already-burning fire.
I agree with your take on this. My mom comes from a family background of alcoholic wife-beaters, and the day I finally admitted to her that my husband was an alcoholic (I always tried to protect him), her first response was, "Does he ever hit you?" I couldn't believe she would ever think that about him, because he is so not that kind of drunk. But I quickly realized that given her background that was of course the first thing in her mind. I'm concerned about his drinking because it is a symptom of his own abusive past and takes a terrible toll on his mental and physical health.
On the other hand, there have been so many times he pressured me to drink in a social situation because he thought it would help me mellow out. I've tried to explain to him, not too successfully, that I would not react to alcohol the same way he does. It would not loosen my severe social inhibitions; it would make them worse, and make me violent, and I would be exactly the kind of drunk that gives alcoholism its reputation. I don't need to drink to know that with my high-strung, anxious personality, alcohol would be a very bad thing.
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