Dear Tracy

I am so sorry for your loss, it was New Year's Eve one year ago that I was able to get out of my domestic violence situation.

I can only say having been physically abused myself that it is a very scary situation and many wonder why women don't go forward. Through the process of turning him into the police, I lost my job and my home. Being a single mother of 3 girls it was a humbling and terrifying experience buy I am thankful to be a survivor.

We truly need to educate women and men alike of the resources available so that women can get help before it ends in a loss. Again I am so sorry for this loss, I can feel your pain and can only imagine what she has gone through.

I pray for your and your family.
LB

Lisa,

as I read this, i want to tell you first that you didnt do anything wrong. so many of us live through this and do our very best to keep anyone else from knowing. when i initially announced that i wanted to divorce my exhusband, almost no one could believe it. my own parents tried to talk me into going back. now, at least my family gets it.

but it takes the courage and stories like yours, and everyones here, to create the awareness that has and will continue save lives.

you obviously loved your sister and your niece very much and you were lucky to have them for a season. I am truly sorry for your loss.

so very very sorry

RT @maggiedammit For me, personally, the hardest thing I've ever posted on #vu. Please, support: http://violenceunsilenced.com/dear-tracy/

RT @maggiedammit For me, personally, the hardest thing I've ever posted on #vu. Please, support: http://violenceunsilenced.com/dear-tracy/

I am so truly sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing your sisters story. I pray it finds its way to those who need to hear it most.

~Aerin

Lisa,
When I heard the news...my heart sank to the bottom of my stomach. As it still does today. The tears flow so freely, even as I write this at this moment, as if someone had opened a flood gates. All I can think about is "Oh god why'.. Why..Why...Why.." When I heard the news, I found myself driving around aimlessly to escape the sadness I felt for you and your family. I wanted so to reach out to you, but didn't know how. What would I say when I saw you. What could I do to help you. What can I do going forward for you. I just wanted to give you a hug and take on some of your pain. I know your strength. I remember doing St. Jude fund raisers with you at the Verona bowling alley. I know your drive, your passion, and your spirit to make a difference. I can't make your pain ever go away. I can't imagine what your feeling.. I can grieve with you, which I do. I can give you my shoulder to cry upon. I can give you my arms to craddle you when you feel so tired from having to deal with all of this. I can provide you strength to push forward when the days feel like you can't go anymore. On those days, when you just can't go anymore, turn to your family, friends and loved ones and ask them to 'carry you through'. As Jesus does for all of us. All we need to do is ask him. I pray that you take care of yourself first, so you can take care of others. Your a brave, stong sole..and are very much loved for that. May god bless you and keep you close to his heart every moment of every day my dear friend! Love, Michelle & Joshua

I cannot imagine your pain. Thank you so much for sharing and wanting to help others. I pray for your efforts.

Gah. So sad.

So sorry for your loss. I'm glad you are honoring their lives, and giving them a legacy, by working against domestic violence.

There are no words, I am so sorry for your loss. I am touched by your bravery at what must be such a difficult time. I am only sorry that the murderous coward turned the gun on himself, rather than face his deserved punishment.

words are hard for me right now--between the tears and heartache felt while reading your words....bless you for sharing and may your heart feel some sort of calm in the good that you are doing here. Your sister, niece and all other victims are so fortunate that Maggie uses this form to help everyone in dire circumstances. I don't have a sister, but a daughter and granddaughter - the thought of ever losing them sends searing pain to the very core . Keep your heart and soul strong by remembering Tracy and Deja loved you - and will alwaysl love you from different place.

I don't know what to say. I always know what to say, except today I just sit here, not knowing a word. Not a word. Just so, so sorry.

Dear Lisa,
Tracy was a childhood friend, one that I didn't see often after we graduated but one that always held a special place in my heart. Every day I think of her and that beautiful little girl I see in all of the pictures. I also think of you and how incomprehensible it is to imagine having a sister like Tracy and losing her. My God, my heart just breaks for you and your family.
What a powerful message you send by telling her story. Even for those that never had the blessing to know Tracy can learn from this. May you find peace in your quest to save other woman and children from this horrible tragedy.
Bridget McNamara

Please stop by VU and share a prayer for the survivors of domestic violence - http://bit.ly/4C4hqY

Thank you for sharing what must have been a very difficult letter to write. I hope you will find a way to not blame yourself for the violence that someone else is fully responsible for. My heartfelt sympathies go out to you and your entire family. May you all find peace after this tragedy.

Tracy, Mary Kay and all of the family surviving this tragedy, thank you for your grace & strength in sharing your pain. I pray for your healing. I trust that someone, somewhere will find solace somehow. May God bless and keep you.

Lisa,

Ever since I was young girl wandering the hallways of Verona HIgh, I remember your confident beauty and kindness. The way you carried yourself showed your strength, and I imagine that strength has grown even more and shall help you through these hard times.
Tracy was admired by all who met her, and her sweet demeanor keeps her in all of our hearts. I am glad I saw Tracy at our 15 year reunion, she looked as she always has.....shining and beautiful.
I just want to share my heartfelt sorrow for you and the whole family. May the beautiful memories, in time, overshadow the bad ones. This tragedy has made a difference in many people's lives, even when we are so far away. The cruelty of that man's acts is over, but the love for those four whose lives are gone from us will endure forever.

May you have a peaceful Christmas surrounded by your loved ones,
Emma James Kramer

RT @TweetACritter: Please please read this. http://violenceunsilenced.com/dear-tracy/ (via @BaltimoreGal)

lisa there is no blame to be placed on you, you were there, exactly where she needed you to be. growing up in an abusive home as a child and later as an adult being a victim of domestic abuse, i was very ashamed, and i believed in him, i wanted everyone else to see the good i saw in him so i never shared the bad, i also thought that i alone could help him. it's a very dark place. he was also sorry for what he had done to me, he cried, told me he'd never do it again, and i believed him. i never wanted to tell my family or friends because i did'nt want them to be mad or hate him. i know crazy right? i was such afool right? he put a gun to my head a knife to my throat, choked me until i passed out. i should have left right? but i believed that i alone could help him change, was it my fault? without the help of my friends and family i finally one day realized that i could not help him, or anyone else, but myself. my friends and family never judged me or pushed me they were just always there to answer the phone in the middle of the night. so please never give up on helping someone in an abusive relationship, the last thing they need is to be alienated, and the abuser needs to know that this woman has an army of loved ones in her corner, ready. so lisa if tracy and deja had to cut their time short here on this earth to save the lives of others in the same situation i think she'd be okay with that because she was selfless. my heart is with you and your family, be strong.

@maggiedammit, thanks for helping to give a voice to those who were once voiceless. http://bit.ly/8QopSC

Thank you everyone for the kind words. It helps to know that there are so many people out there that keep praying for our family. It also helps to have a site like this (thank you Maggie) where everyone can share their stories and thoughts. Thank you all again and even though my heart is breaking, I can and will do this, not only for my sister and Deja, but for everyone else out there who needs it.

Peace and LOVE to all of you!!!

Lisa (Judd) Blanchard

I am here for you Lisa. I don't understand why, but I do know that we can not let it be in vain. Our family must remember everything Tracy stood for. I know as well as you do the ONE thing that was the most inportant to her was FAMILY.

RT @SugarJones: Domestic Violence hurts more than the victim. Please read "Dear Tracy" http://violenceunsilenced.com/dear-tracy/ (Thank ...

MKE peeps--this is local. Let's step up. RT @MaggieDammit: The hardest thing I've ever posted on #vu. Pls support: http://bit.ly/4C4hqY

I don't have any new words to say here - everyone else has pretty much already said them, and better than I could have. I can only say thank you for being so brave.

RT @SugarJones: Domestic Violence hurts more than the victim. Please read "Dear Tracy" http://violenceunsilenced.com/dear-tracy/ (Thank ...

Domestic Violence hurts more than the victim. Please read "Dear Tracy" http://violenceunsilenced.com/dear-tracy/ (Thank you @MaggieDammit)

Please read this touching letter - DO NOT LET THIS HAPPEN TO YOUR FAMILY OR FRIENDS http://violenceunsilenced.com/dear-tracy/

I am so sorry. Thank you for this post, and know that you are helping someone by sharing.

My heart is breaking for you and your family, and for Amber and Nevaeh's family. It doesn't make any kind of sense why this has happened, and never will. But your speaking out and shining light on something so dark is so brave and important.

Love and strength to you.

Lisa, your sister would be so proud of you. I know how strong you girls are and always have been, it really shines through now with what you are doing in the wake of such a tragedy. Many many people will thank you for your dedication to your sister and your niece. Keep it up, they will always be smiling down you.

I'm so sorry. I have no words for the thoughts that are rushing through my head after reading this. My heart goes out to you and your family. Thank you for sharing your story.

I'm sorry this terrible tragedy has happened to you and your family. Thank your for speaking to us.

RT @SugarJones @MaggieDammit for me, the hardest thing I've ever posted on #vu. Please support: http://violenceunsilenced.com/dear-tracy

RT @MaggieDammit For me, personally, the hardest thing I've ever posted on #vu. Please support: http://violenceunsilenced.com/dear-tracy

Lisa, thank you for speaking out. Your loss is unimaginable. It is unfathomable that we live in a world, country, community where such violence occurs. Telling your story, sharing with others, as you so bravely are doing, WILL save lives and EMPOWER girls and women alike to make good choices and take action.

They cannot reach out since they love the abuser. Does not make any victim at fault, which is why they r the victim. But when u r in love with the abuser, u want to protect him
It breaks my heart that it was at the cost of 4 beautiful souls

May he burn in pain for eternity

RT @MaggieDammit For me, personally, the hardest thing I've ever posted on #vu. Please support: http://violenceunsilenced.com/dear-tracy

RTMaggieDammit http://violenceunsilenced.com/dear-tracy

I am so sorry for your loss. That you are determined to bring something positive out of your family's tragedy shows just how much you loved—still love—your sister and niece. Thank you.

This letter gave me chills. Lisa, know that you are not just one person. You have all of us here to help. You have an army of women and men that want to change this. I'm raising my hand up... way over here... can you see me? I am willing to help in any way I can.

God bless you and your family, Lisa.

Lisa, I am still praying for you and your family. Wishing you only the deepest, most comforting peace.

There is no sense to be made. I believe the heart never truly understands losses of this magnitude and of this nature. The mind struggles, pieces together the facts, frets over the whys like so many prayer beads. The language of the heart knows only that you loved them, will love them still. That love will light, in a million myriad ways, your everyday and your path forward.

I will light a candle for you, for your family, for peace.

This post and you, are a candle indeed.

I hurt for you Lisa. I admire your courage right here when it's still so fresh and painful.

My heart hurts. I'm so sorry. I wish I could do something or say something that would help.

you are taking this darkest of tragedies and turning the tide.
blessings to your family as you set off on this journey.

I am so sorry. Keep telling her story, your story. Share how devastating it is that you didn't know the violence that lay waiting. Explain how if she had spoken up, her daughter would grow up and she would get to see her 40s and beyond. This step has been amazing, and the community will keep sharing it and thinking of your family.

Oh, how terrible. Thank you for sharing this. People need to hear it.

I'm so sorry. Sending love and prayers.

How awful. I hope posting this and getting our comments helps...