I met my ex-boyfriend in the seventh grade. I had a huge crush on him. Well, years went by and I ran into him again. He had just gotten into a car accident and was recovering. Oh my gosh, all these crush feelings came right back and I thought oh, I'm not letting him go.Things were great at first. But once I actually became his girlfriend, things begin to change. There is so much, I don’t know where to begin. He started to lie and sneak and have affairs with women and I would just accept what he would tell me. I thought I was in madly love.

The emotional abuse hurt the most. Name calling, shoving me in corners and making me stay there while he stood over me belittling me and threatening.... I may not have gotten hit physically each day but the verbal and head games made me go crazy. He would spit in my face if I went outside after he told me not to. I would get backhanded when I least expected it. I have been pushed down stairs, required days in the hospital then I would leave against medical advice. He had very hard boney knuckles and would punch me like I was his equal.

One time he had beat me up all night and cops showed up.  Me being very emotional, I was the one the cops were worried about because my ex was very good at talking. Luckily my mother got through to the officer through 911 and filled him in on the fact that he is abusive so I did go to a safe house. He went to jail, three felonies, but the next day I went back and told the detectives I was the one going crazy. I said I was going through something mental and I made it all up. He of course got off.

I have been choked. I have had BIG rocks thrown at me. I have had nineteen staples in my head. My wrists and arms have been broken. He would threaten my dog. Everyday he would want to kill himself and put the blame on me. I have been called so many things that I would tell him to punch me instead of saying all the hurtful things to me that always hurt much more.

All this has been going on for 8 years. I absolutely adore this man. I love him with all my soul. But I can't be with him.

My story could go on, like many of yours. I am lucky to have a family who didn't ever stop trying to get me out. The last straw was when he had chased me around the resort all day making life unbearable and he punched me three times in the head. I instantly called the police. He did get arrested but not without the cops asking me if he really had hit me or was I just mad at him....WHAT. His mother bailed him out, no restraining order. In the state of California DV laws are VERY weak.

I ended up in the hospital with a tubal pregnancy. My parents came down to help take care of me and that was the time I left with them finally. This was the 4th time my parents had come down there to take me away, but every time I would ditch my parents and go back ....but not this time.

This was three months ago. The charges in California dismissed. So now he has made his way up here. He's constantly blowing up my phone, he harasses all my friends. My parents have blocked every number he calls from me. We now have a baseball bat next to door and always lock the door. I am going to get a restraining order. I thought he would just move on and I wouldn't have to get a order of protection but everyday it is constant threats and craziness from him and everybody around me also gets affected GREATLY. My daughter has a recurring nightmare about him and looks over her shoulder ....SOMETHING HAS TO BE DONE to help keep my family and the people around me safe because he won't stop till he gets what he wants.

THIS SITE IS A TREASURE. I read these blogs and they have helped me be strong. Thank you for helping me become UNSILENCED.